Wednesday, February 18, 2009


We all want to love
To love you need to be loved
To be loved you have to accept love
To accept love you have to be open to the gift of love
To be open to the gift of love you have to become vulnerable
To become vulnerable you have let go of your self-image and lose yourself to love
To lose yourself to love you need to make known your emotions, needs, doubts and fears
To make known your emotions, needs, doubts and fears you need to have faith in God the Father
To have faith in God the Father you need to trust that through His son all is forgiven and the glory of Heaven awaits

An Experience of a Lifetime

An experience of a lifetime. That what it was/is. God had his hand on my life. He held it out and said there is more for you to do. By most accords and most people of knowledge, when I recorded a blood sugar level in access of 1100 (norm 100), I should have been dead or at very least in a coma. God held me together while he called upon others to guide me through the next 8 hours. I felt His presence many times in the past but this, this was something unique and different. I realized that I was not in control and that I had to completely let go and that the outcome would be of His choosing. I believe that He saved me so that I may continue to serve Him here. On a day when I was to assist at the funeral service of friend and fellow Stephen minister, I found myself in God’s palm not knowing if He will take me to Him or bring me forward to do His will.

For a length time now I have been trying to understand what, how and where to share His love with others. I have walked a path through personal, emotional and spiritual challenges in preparation for things yet to come. My experience this past weekend works to solidify the fact, that God is with me and Jesus is in me. I now need to take proper inventory of my faith and my commitment to the care and ministry that will match the talents that He has blessed me with.

Found and Lost

Found and Lost
Yes, this is the title of this essay and no I don’t have dyslexia or at least not at this moment as I write. Many people may be able to relate to this statement as I find myself working through this very feeling this morning. How can a person be found but have the feeling of being lost? What does this look like emotionally? In simplest terms, it is a feeling of being in limbo, a feeling of uncertainty that leads to unrest and uneasiness in one’s life. Knowing both intellectually and spiritually, the a God is with me and that He wants me to be in Him, keeps the limbo feeling from spreading into a darker chasm of worry and fear. Yet, at the same time, it falls short and brings about a feeling of something being missed. That is where the lost part comes into play. What keeps coming forward is the need to have an awareness of the direction that your life is supposed to take as the days come and go. Life is good, God has once again provided for me all that I need to live a life that is full in family and surrounded by faithful people who genuinely care. So, what’s the issue with this being lost thing? Purpose, God has revealed Himself to me in many ways and at many different times, giving me a sense of assurance that I was on a path to know His purpose for my life. A year or so later and I find myself still trying to put the pieces together and wondering if I missed something along the way or is He still preparing me for the work that He desires for me to accomplish?

Found, most definitely. God has continued to bless me with His presence as I open my heart each and every time I call to Him in prayer. He shows me quickly that He has not left my side and will also be just a simple prayer away. I have been found, more specifically, I have found that God has always known where to find me and I only recently discovered how to reach out to Him and actually be present with Him and not merely speak at Him in my prayers. He desires and awaits my call and my extended hand to welcome Him into my life. He wants for all His people to bring Him into a dialogue and allow ourselves to develop a relationship with Him, so that as we go forward in our daily ventures of life, He will be there right in front of us leading the way and lighting the path for our movements through His kingdom on earth. So, if you understand all this, what then gives with this lost thing? I think it may be patience, I feel I have traveled so far that I must be nearer to the point of clearly seeing His plan. In fact there have been times where I was almost certain I understood, only to discover that the time for me to know has not yet arrived. It is during these moments that I feel lost. So close, yet so far. I have tried re-evaluating to see if I missed something along the way or if in fact maybe I influenced and indulged myself into believing that I am even on God’s path and not just on path created by an ego trip of my own making.

Lost, that time in one’s life where affirmation is not only needed but might possibly be critical in order to unblock and reopen a path and make progress in developing a deeper relationship with God. In this I am discovering that I must have patience. Patience requires faith, faith that comes from knowing that you can reach out and touch Him when you need Him and although He has yet revealed to you all of what you desire to know, He indeed will. In His time and for His purposes, God will become manifest in you to accomplish His plan. Find rest and comfort in those He provides to you for company and care. He will give to you, you who are faithful and patient that which you seek. Call on God to be present whenever you need and pray for His intersession in your time of uncertainty before it leads to a time of loneliness and despair. Find Him present and rejoice with Him who awaits your calling. Ask and He will answer.